This Just In...

Patrick's final letter from Basic arrived today! He's out in the field, so he won't be sending anything else out. But, his last letter was great because it included this:




Of course, he complained about it because it was taken during the first week of basic (two months ago). He says that he looks much better now. Plus, he said they photo-shopped the hat into the pic. He didn't wear it when the photo was taken. I don't really care. He looks great to me. But, I'd much rather see him in person! Ten more days!!!

A Moment of True Worship

Last night, what started out to be a normal choir and orchestra rehearsal turned into one of the most wonderful times of worship I've ever experienced. The church I currently attend just hired a new Minister of Music. Last night, the pastor introduced him to the members of the choir and orchestra. The new minister shared with us his heart for God's people and the vision he has for the ministry he is now leading. He was so genuine and passionate about what he feels God desires for the music and worship ministry to be about. Then, it happened. He introduced all of us, choir and orchestra, to an older song that will become an integral part of what we do. He reminded us all that we each have something or someone seated on the throne of our lives. Whatever it is, it should be replaced with our amazing Father, God. So we sang these words with just a piano accompanying us.

"I See The Lord" by Nancy Honeytree

I see the Lord
High and lifted up
Seated on the throne
Of my life.

I see the Lord
High and lifted up
Seated on the throne
Of my life.

And He is Holy
He is Holy
He is Holy
Seated on the throne
Of my life.

The sound of all of those voices praising God was definitely a powerful one.

I know in my life I've placed other people and things on my throne. I've even sat on it myself for long periods of time. I need to give God the place He is due every day, in every way, in every possible aspect of my life.

"In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: 'Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.'" Isaiah 6:1-3

2 More Weeks!!!

Patrick called today. Wow! Again, God knew what I needed! His platoon didn't get to call on Sunday, so I was moping around all week. Hadn't even gotten a letter. Then, while I was taking a small nap, my phone rang. It was Patrick. He sounded great. He passed his final PT test on Tuesday. YIPPEE!!! It's downhill from here. We'll arrive at Fort Jackson exactly two weeks from tonight.

He's got a big "ruck" march tomorrow. Don't know exactly what that means. Then, next week he's got to go on a big trip "in the field." It's called Victory Forge. He'll be away from civilization for several days doing soldier stuff.

Because he passed his last test, he'll be rewarded with a three hour on-post pass tomorrow. Maybe he'll get to call me again for longer than ten minutes. I could not be more proud of Patrick. Forgive the major sappiness, but he's totally my hero!

Good Rainy Day Piece

If you haven't heard it yet, scroll through my play list and find Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber. It is great for the day we're having here. Let me know if you like it. It's one of my faves.

Apology

Yes, the time on this post is accurate. I woke up about an hour ago after a very vivid nightmare. Fully awake, I could not fall back to sleep. I've been thinking about something someone said about my blog. So, I have to do this.

Last week, I changed the "About Me" section on my blog to state that "I am currently a stay-at-home bum. Call me pathetic, really."

I didn't even think about the fact that many of my own readers might be offended. Please know that I in no way meant to insult or offend those of you who are choosing to be Chief Domestic Officers/Operators. I admire stay-at-home moms. You work your butts off and are constantly negotiating the tough waters of being a parent. Two of my own sisters are the hardest working stay-at-home moms I've ever met. When I have kids, I hope to do the same.

Please understand, that in my current unemployed state, I truly feel like a bum. Unlike actual mothers, I am lazy and have no motivation to do anything. I guess I could get a job if I wanted one, but so far, there's no desire. This was all I meant by the new material in that section. It has since been changed. Please know my heart on this matter. I truly did not mean to insult anyone.

Thoughts...

Not exactly sure what I’m doing. It probably smacks of wallowing in self-pity. White walls staring back at me. Fan is spinning over head. Who am I today? God I want to follow you. Show me what to do now. Head leaning on closet door. Procrastinating once again before bed time. Sleep? Not sure I can… So much on my mind. Missing my soul-mate, he’s many states away. Grieving possible lost friendship. Stupid me. Why did I put myself first? I’m not like that. Heart is aching over wasted time and wasted words. Foolish pride. Stubborn selfishness. Can’t wait to reunite with hubby. Life is definitely changing. Yes, God has a plan. I’ve known it all the time. Problem is the enemy is trying hard to throw me off course. Not going to happen. God won’t let it happen. Praying for peace and clear vision. Made it so far because of powerful prayers of faithful friends. Tomorrow’s not far away… His mercies are new every morning! Thank you Father for loving me!

And the Countdown Begins...

Well, if you must know, I actually initiated this countdown in my planner as soon as Patrick left. Now that the numbers are actually feasible, I thought I'd let my readers know.

I will get to see Patrick in exactly 16 days!!!! Woohoo!!!

Can you tell I'm excited? My mom, sister, brother-in-law, and I will all head toward South Carolina exactly two weeks from today. I can't believe it. We'll get to see Patrick on Family Day and then he'll graduate from Basic on September 5th. WOW!

The reality is that we actually will only get to visit for a short time before he goes to his AIT. Hopefully his time there will go by quickly!

Another Rainy Monday...

If you are familiar with any of Steven Curtis Chapman's older music, you'll recognize the title of my post. Here I am, sitting at my computer on a rainy Monday morning. It's amazing that through our weakest days, Jesus keeps us strong. All we have to do is keep our eyes on Him.

Weak Days
Written by Steven Curtis Chapman and James Isaac Elliott
II Cor 12:9

Another rainy Monday,
Looks like I'm gonna be late again;
Why does the race I'm runnin' never seem to have an end.
A day away from Sunday,
Feels like I'm already losing ground
Funny sometimes how quickly my emotions get turned around;
They're letting me down.

CHORUS
I gotta keep my eyes on Jesus
Through the weak days;
In a world where we really don't belong,
I've discovered if I keep my eyes on Jesus
Through the weak days,
Then even on the weak days He'll make me strong.

The spirit is so willing
When the fellowship is so sweet;
How soon all the good intentions
Find the flesh is weak.
But there's a power waiting,
With no limits to times or space;
All of our doubts and fears disappear without a trace
When we look on His face.

(chorus)

And when we keep our eyes on Jesus,
We'll gladly follow where He leads us.

God, please help me keep my eyes focused on you when everything around me seems to be pulling for my attention. You are powerful and mighty! You give me strength when I'm unable to do anything on my own. You know the answers before I ask the questions. You are everything and I am nothing...

When I Need Him Most!

Just when I was feeling my worst this week, God showed up in the most wonderful way. No, I wasn't really going through anything major. But, I was at a low point and at the end of my emotional rope. I've been feeling sorry for myself and digging myself a nice little hole of self-pity.

It all started with the fact that I've been extremely lazy this week. That's never good for one's emotional health. Way too much time to think about how depressed you are and how much time you're wasting. Add to that wonderful mix the questions I have regarding a recent correspondence I initiated with a friend. Throw in the fact that my computer crashed on Monday for the second time in exactly one month.

Tuesday, I had a frustrating interaction with a commander in Patrick's unit. I had called to ask if I could take Patrick from Basic to the School of Music. I was just following the advice of someone at the School of Music. I was treated very unprofessionally and overheard them making jokes about Patrick's last name and his musical job. I was furious, of course. So, I e-mailed the commander in a plea for information. That night, I went to bed with a heavy weight on my mind and heart.

After staying in bed longer than usual on Wednesday, I got up and continued my pitiful existence. In a moment of awareness, I knew I needed to spend time with God in prayer and in reading the Bible. I had been neglecting that time for a few weeks. Obviously, God wanted to speak to me. So, I began to study the passages for day. He really got to me with a pair of pages from My Utmost for His Highest. Then, as I was reading, my cell phone rang. I recognized the area code as that of Ft. Jackson. I assumed before answering that it was a commander returning a call I had made earlier. When I said hello, Patrick's voice answered with "Hi". I was shocked!

It was Wednesday at 2:00 pm and I was hearing my husband's voice in utter amazement. The timing could not have been any better. He was given direct orders to call me. Talk about a perfectly timed surprise. God directed actions of Patrick's drill sergeants in order to send me a message of His love. As it turned out, the commander who received my e-mail directed Patrick's officers to allow him to call me himself and answer the questions I had. We actually got to talk for about 25 minutes, the longest conversation we've had during Basic. When I told Patrick how much I had needed to hear his voice, he said, "God obviously knew what you needed." I immediately felt better. I could feel God's presence at that exact moment. He was watching over us and wanted me to know that He is in control all of the time.

God wasn't finished yet. Patrick also had the news that he had finally passed his 2-mile run. Wow!!! The test was Monday and he did great. My mind jumped to the fact that I will see Patrick in exactly three weeks. I am so excited. The pride I have for him is immeasurable. We reluctantly ended our phone call, but looked forward to the next call.

Then, last night, I attended church orchestra rehearsal. God reminded me of how much I love to play music in worship. It was a wonderful climax for the sad beginning of the week. I know people are praying for both Patrick and me. God continues to answer those prayers in amazing ways.

Lots to say, not sure how...

Blogging is a complex creature. It's hard to know what is acceptable to share and what is past the point of what others should be subjected to. Is it a therapy tool with which to rid your mind of all emotions or does it have to be more focused on a subject? Does it have to be structured? Or is it just a blank slate?

My struggle with these questions seems to be making me second guess what I want to share. So much is going on in this brain of mine...