Worth the Investment!

I realize that I'm still not a very wise person, probably never will be. However, I have come to know something as a result of my life experiences. Things you can buy with money are NEVER worth the investment. However, PEOPLE, no matter who they are, ARE ALWAYS WORTH THE INVESTMENT!!!! Never has this truth been as vivid and powerful as it was for me today. I've been pondering the direction of this post for a while now, and I'm going to go with my gut on this one! If it's too long, I'm sorry, it's just the way I am.

Patrick and I have returned from a very memorable weekend of visiting family and friends in both Oklahoma and Texas. Both were celebrations. On Saturday, we celebrated our youngest niece's 1st birthday. She could not have been cuter with the lady bug cake icing in her hair! We had a great time with her and her brothers, as well as the rest of the family. We left the party to head for Texas. Sunday, we attended another celebration - Celebration Day at our favorite church, MBC! They were having their annual celebration to mark the birthday of the church and to have a homecoming of sorts. Patrick and I had been invited back to be a part of the worship service (although we would have gone whether we were playing or not). The following are my thoughts on the day.

Wow. God, I could have never gotten through today without your presence, love, strength, mercy, and forgiveness. My emotions are getting a good workout. On one hand, there was such joy and comfort from seeing, talking to, and embracing our dear friends and family. They welcomed us with such amazing love and warmth. I wish we could be with them each week. We were so thrilled to tell them about what God has done in our lives since we left a year ago. It was such a blessing to hear and to see how God has worked in their lives and in the church. There is nothing I would not do for my family there.

But, with a very heavy heart, I must admit that my experience was one of a bittersweet flavor. The joy and excitement of the reunion with our family at MBC was dampened for me by the loss of relationship with two of our dearest friends. I knew today would be hard for Patrick and me. Some things have happened this year that have caused a once-perceived strong friendship to all but disappear. My prayer for the past several months has been that God would heal any hurts and allow us to experience this customarily happy occasion together with love. I also prayed that Satan would not use the emotions to distract from God's divine plan for the day. My deepest desire was that God would be glorified and that our hearts would be reconciled to Him and to one another.

I did not want to be a stumbling block for anyone today. My heart truly yearned to have peace with these friends. One bystander must have noticed what I had prayed no one would. He noticed the separation that I prayed would not exist. If he noticed, how much more would anyone else? My heart was breaking inside. Today was not about us. It's about GOD. I am extremely grieved that it happened this way.

People each cope with emotions differently. I tend to have several coping mechanisms: internalize emotions to the point of physical illness, hide them with the use of external humor and jokes, or talk about them and cry myself to sleep. Unfortunately, I had already been dealing with an illness prior to the added stress of emotions. I tried to fight the appearance of illness, but it didn't work. At some points, I tried light humor and small talk, but that didn't do anything to bury the pain. Was it obvious? I pray not.

God was glorified today in the music, the sermon, and the fellowship. But with deep guilt and sadness, I know that He was not glorified in this relationship. I pray that I will never feel that someone is not worth the investment of my time and energy. I pray for God's indescribable mercy and power in my life.

Father, you know my heart. I am grieved by the current situation and pray for your divine healing. Help me to not shy away from investing in anyone you put in my path. Give me the wisdom and strength to do your will.