I've found myself in one of those moods over the past week or so. You know, the kind that makes you wonder why you are feeling a certain way. I wouldn't call it a "funk" but it's definitely hard to put a finger on. Sort of a longing, sad, happy, weird, sensitive, questioning, doubting, hoping, needy, nostalgic, wondering, so you can rest medicine...oops, I lost my train of thought.
One of those moods that increases your knowledge of God's presence, but still leaves you thinking too much. I'm there. I have been for several days and I don't like it. My experiences at work this week haven't helped the feeling go away. For a little while at community group last night it hid itself, but alas, it quickly hopped back out its corner.
This mood led me to do something I really hoped I'd not do. Against my own sense of logic and self-preservation, I reached out to a person who could not care less about me. Has God ever placed someone on your heart that you tried with all of your might to avoid? The hardest part is knowing that the person will never care about what I said or did. Did I misunderstand God's leading? Maybe it's just all part of this weird emotional zone I'm finding myself in. Maybe it's just hormones or a bit of mustard... Who knows?
I wait patiently for you, Lord. Turn to me and hear my cry. Lift me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; Set my feet on a rock and give me a firm place to stand. Lord, put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to you my God. Psalm 40:1-3.
